- Do you have trouble really hearing what others say to you?
- Does your mind wander off in the middle of conversations to the list in your head of “stuff” that you need to get done?
- Do you find yourself embarrassed that you can’t recall what someone just told you?
- Have you made poor decisions because you weren’t paying attention to the details?
This is most of us at one time or another. In fact, it is more the norm than the exception. Could this be why when someone really pays attention and hears us, we notice it? Do we expect that we won’t be heard and call people who listen “special”;”unusual”;skilled?” How many of us just want someone to hear us? How often have you told someone “Please just listen?”
Have you ever wondered why it is so hard to listen? Or is it really that difficult? Aren’t the ingredients obvious? Look the person in the eye if you are in their presence. If you are on the telephone, do not do anything else while talking.
The biggest challenges may be convincing ourselves that we have enough time and it is worth our time to focus and not mentally . Many will not believe it until success is achieved. Until one experiences first hand the benefits and “wins”by staying present this may seem abstract. When one’s life becomes richer because decision-making and intuition become clearer, the benefits become, a reality.
Want to try being more present? Here are a few suggestions.
- If you find your mind wandering, tell yourself that you will think about it later.
- Breathe slowly and deeply, and focus only on the person or situation that is in your presence.
- Write a list of what you would like to accomplish and carry it with you or post it where you can find it easily If your mind starts to wander, tell your self that your list will keep you on track. Use your list so that you build a habit of referring to it on a regular basis.
- Prioritize according to importance.
So much of life is in the moments right in front of us in conversations, both verbal and nonverbal. Communication provides details and explanations and may add depth to our understanding. Listening can help us in business when hiring, firing, selecting clients, trouble shooting problems and more. On a personal level, staying present and listening with focused attention can enhance our lives in more ways than we can imagine. The same applies to the pets we love when we really take the time to notice them.