A Confession of a Sugar Addict

A few weeks ago, I stood inside a community center staring at a long folding table with free apples, onions, bread, homegrown herbs, and some Ghirardelli dark chocolate bars waiting for anyone who wanted it.

Dangerous Act

Knowing that it was dangerous, I reached for the chocolate bar.  I am a sugar addict with little to no self-control when it comes to eating sugary foods.  I excused my decision by convincing myself that I JUST wanted to see if this high-quality chocolate was as good as my homemade chocolate.  Being the good addict that I am, I quickly devoured a small piece.  Yes, it was good, but not as good as mine.  That didn’t stop me from reaching for another small piece. That too quickly disappeared.  Within five minutes, I had eaten two of the pieces.  Would I stop?   Would the entire candy bar be devoured?  Would there be another candy bar somewhere that called my name?

I needed to get rid of the chocolate! I headed for the outside door to the outside of the building door and walked up a street where I noticed a man sitting inside a building sitting behind a desk.  Maybe he would eat my chocolate.  A locked door stood between us.  He stood up and came to the door and inquired “How can I help you?”  I showed him the chocolate and asked if he would like it.  I didn’t take time to tell him about my addiction which would have explained my offering.  He quickly thanked me and told me that he is a diabetic but maybe someone in the library, which was around the corner, would like it.

Good idea.  I knew many of the library employees.  Surely, someone would take my chocolate.  I quickly walked to the library entrance and saw a man sitting against a brick near the entrance.   “Would you like some chocolate?” I asked.  He stared ahead without answering. I paused to give him a minute to respond.  Still no answer, so I walked to the library entrance.

Chocolate in my hand

There was a sign on a door showing the library hours.  I had to wait thirty minutes.  Doubt set in.  The chocolate was still in my hand. There were several options.  I could wait thirty minutes; walk over to the post office or Whole Foods which were five minutes away and offer employees my chocolate.  There was one drawback.  Did I have the confidence to not let the sugar addict in me demand that I eat more chocolate?  Suddenly, I wasn’t so sure.  Could I?  Would I?

There was no way of knowing. Waiting didn’t seem like a good option.   The candy had to be disposed of and quickly too.  There were two options: the trash can behind me and the library return book bin.  I chose the latter.  It was right in front of me, and throwing out good chocolate was not acceptable.

What a relief!  The temptation was gone and replaced by guilt.  What had I done?  Chocolate did not belong in the library book return!   That wasn’t acceptable.  Within fifteen minutes after the library opened its doors, I went inside and confessed to a worker who said, “That is really good chocolate.”  I agreed.  “Don’t feel bad.  It happens “she said to me.  “No, it doesn’t.  People don’t throw chocolate in your book return!” I insisted.  She smiled and stood up.  ” I will go look for it.”  She did and I waited and waited for her return. Ten minutes, fifteen minutes passed and there was no sign of her. So, I left the library.

The following week, I went into the library and saw her sitting at her desk.  “Did you find it?” I asked. With a beaming smiled she told me “Yes we did, and we enjoyed eating the chocolate.”

 

 

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