Doesn’t look like much. Don’t let it’s appearance fool you

I keep it close to my chest.  I seldom talk about it.  It is a secret,  but not really.  Actually it isn’t sort of secret.   Just guarding my  cooking experiments.  I am quietly working on recipes. Yes, I am working on compiling a sugar-free cook book.

On A Hunt

It has been a hunt, one for tasty sweets without refined sugar.  The only reason why I know that it is possible came from the words of a very creative  cook and expert with assisting families transition from traditional foods and products that can be purchase in food stores all across America to cooking more healthy with recipes.  This “inventor” was way ahead of the popular curve, so to speak.  She was creating main dishes and deserts in the early 1980’s.  Decades later, I still was using her recipes.  After attending food workshops, looking through cookbooks and talking to creative cooks, I  still found little that compared to what this “food wizard” could create.

Her words still echo in my mind and serve as inspiration and a motivator to NOT give up after making bad-disastrous recipes.   She had results to back up her claims.  Her brownies, which were made from an assortment of ingredients, were delicious as were her other desserts.

Justify Eating Cheese Cake

My inspiration isn’t really JUST because of my sugar addiction which I have.  My sugar consumption isn’t normal, by normal I mean the following.  I am jealous of people who can have one cookie or one half of a chocolate.  I can do neither.  There are never too many chocolates or cookies.  I eat more when I no longer can taste the sweet.  When I refrain from reaching out for a chocolate at someone’s house, I can feel myself wanting the candy.  It is only sheer will power that stops my hand from reaching out and taking the goodie.  My brain tells me that one will lead to more and perhaps I will not be able to stop eating sweets for weeks or months.   At one of my worst periods, I justified eating a “free” slice of cheese cake by promising to drink a gallon of water afterwards so that no one would know.  Who “no one” was never made clear, even to me.

At some point, after a lot of delusional thinking and denial, I had to admit that I am an addict and cannot control my sugar intake.  Knowing that this poison is a health hazard was not enough to STOP.  What halted my intake was the realization that being sick or having to rely on the healthcare system with all of its short comings and failures, was not an option.  Also, my attempts to eat the stuff less often changed my taste buds.  Suddenly store products tasted rancid and made me physically sick.  Ice cream hurt my stomach and sinuses.

Emotional Connection To Sugar

Therefore it occurred to me that perhaps I could retrain my brain.  I was hoping that when I saw someone somewhere eating a chocolate candy bar or an ice cream code that I could convince myself that I could make my own delicious deserts.   Essentially what I was trying to convince myself that I was not missing anything.  Just trying to snap or zap that emotional bond with the poison.

Macaroons

It worked! Deserts sans refined sugar have been made.  Some have been tasty, a few have been very good and a few have been AWFUL.  All have been written down so that I can recreate or NOT repeat them.  What I notice is that sometimes my brain searches for the ingredients.  This happened yesterday when I found myself thinking about macaroons and ways to make them sans white sugar.  This morning I decided to try it.  The four ingredients were blended together.  It worked.  That means that they passed the “I am willing to serve this to anyone.”

 

 

 

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